Tweet or Twat – which am I?

It’s late afternoon yesterday and I have just woken up following yet another chemo nap in the chemo gazebo. Steve joins me for a coffee, he’s been on the internet again to look into questions ahead of the results meeting on Friday. He knows the tumour in my groin affects me and I said the other day “why can’t it just be cut out?” He says that they won’t operate whilst I’m on chemo but radiotherapy maybe an option. I had forgotten that they couldn’t operate whilst you’re on chemo. It was a question to add to the list when we sit and compile it next week. We know that my chances of survival are down to about 8% past 5 years compared to stage 3 where there was a 60/40% chance of living past 5 years. Bloody statistics! I’m not a statistic and I’m going to do whatever it takes to spend more time here with you all, I’m not done with living this life yet. We talk briefly about prognosis and Steve as ever is hoping, praying for good news on Friday. Now I also learnt that like cancer they grade its reaction to chemo in terms of 1 – 4

1 being it’s gone, happy days

2 it’s reacting, happy days

3 it’s the same, happy days

4 oh shit!

I said to Steve that as we have been told I’ve got 18-24 months, when did that clock start ticking? He said he didn’t know and dismissed my question, “why does it matter?” I replied that I didn’t want to go to the trouble of organising a 50th Birthday party if I wasn’t going to be here, LOL now that made us both laugh. You have to laugh at yourself hey, cos it’s all shit really.

Steve goes back to work and I rest again but feeling better as each hour of each day passes. Just one more week of chemo tablets and then it’s a rest week for me and 5 days away with family, Nicky and Beth. I had completed the days post and was just waiting for Steve to do final edits before we do the daily publish – as mom has returned home it’s all pressure on him. He is busy with work and an hour or so goes by. He then joins me again and hugs me “your post made me sad today” he said. I can’t hold back the tears again (it’s been a day for crying again for me) and I tell him that he will have to make sure he’s there for the grand kids and to help out the kids. He reminds me that he is no good with nappies, are any men? Lol or is this just their way of getting out of it? Good plan you men out there. So Steve holds me whilst I cry and I think of my lovely Rita, Mary Poppins and others that have that joy of spending days with their grandchildren pretending to be helping out their own children whilst secretly as I know them both so well it’s actually the highlight of the week, fun, joy and laughter with babies/toddlers, sharing those precious moments, joy that only a child can bring.

The day went a bit out of sorts, you can tell my mom has gone home. Richard and Rebecca didn’t return with the food shopping until so late that lunch was at 5 pm! So dinner was planned for 8 pm as Steve would have finished work. Villa were playing Man Utd and it was on Sky Sports, the plan was to let them have man time with football and tea on their laps and Rebecca and I could have girly time. Steve enjoyed his tea with a beer watching the football. Just what he needed as he is becoming snappy again and stressed at the smallest thing and I can’t seem to help him. So it’s all good apart from Villa losing 1-0. Bloody Man Utd blah blah blah :-(

Cute Twitter Birdie
Cute Twitter Birdie

During the evening following advice from my two sisters in law, Sarah and Helen I ask Steve about being on Twitter as I can do Facebook and basically understand it but I know nothing about Twitter. Steve helps me finish off my site started in 2011 where I tweeted just once and never bothered again. We complete my profile and it has the daisy photo on it from Rita as the banner photo plus a photo of the daisy dress that Leanne made me buy so daisies are becoming a bit of a trend for me. The ‘Picking Daises’ poem has inspired me for years and it all seems to be fitting into place perfectly now.

So Twitter set up and there is a button thing on the blog asking for you to follow me. I have no idea how to work Twitter so please don’t follow me anywhere yet as we will all get lost in the interweb of beginners and drown in a sea of jargon and confusion. So I’m alone as everyone has gone to bed and I’m looking at this Twitter page thing and there is a search option, a gateway into the world of  famous people. Erm I think to myself, I may not be any good at this yet but why not have some fun anyway, what could possibly go wrong? So I have sent a copy of the video to Nickleback, Christian O’Connell (breakfast DJ on Absolute Radio) who is so funny and during my long journeys into work every morning would always make me laugh and ease pain of the M25 car park and finally of course my mate Simon Le Bon! OMG what the hell was I thinking? Why would they even view it or reply? Nickleback could sue me – well they couldn’t cos I paid for the backing track and could you imagine the headlines “stage 4 cancer sufferer sued by grumpy band?” And anyway these people would have staff who just vet all messages anyway and hit the ‘WARNING nutter delete button’. So my post is apt because have I tweeted them, does this make me a twat? What’s a retweet? Is the inflection of a tweet a twat? Is it just me or am I learning a new language all about bird song! I need help both with technology and being too brave sometimes but I secretly hope for a reply from all 3, dare I dream hey?

So as I’m talking about living the dream, the tea I ate has upset my tummy again as I know that I shouldn’t eat jacket potato skin, onions and all other healthy foods so why am I not surprised my tummy is upset. Oh my poor bum! But worse than that my legs seize up whilst I’m on the loo and I have shameful visions of being locked in the loo all night as I can’t stand up, my bloody legs won’t work. I try rubbing the calf muscles and try again, no I still can’t stand, what am I going to do? Eventually after lots of rubbing my legs work again and I can pull myself up using the sink as a support. It’s okay crisis over and no one knows so it’s all good, whoops apart from you lot haha but you lot don’t count as we have a deal ‘warts and all.’ But I will spare you the details of the runs, lucky you lot I say haha. So it’s now after 3 am and I’m just waiting for my stomach to settle so I get brave again and tweet the Hairy Bikers and Help for Heroes as without any planning there are some product placements in the video that I think at 3 am that they need to know about what am I doing. Before I can cause any more harm I stop short of contacting Take That, Robert Plant and of course for Rebecca, David Tennant.

An email/update from Frankie for you all so that you get another side of chemo. Thank you Frankie for the email and remember you are never alone ………..

Hello my lovely friend,
I’ve been reading your blog due to reasons I’ll get onto. You truly are
an amazingly prolific writer and so very funny, despite what I know and empathise with underneath the humour. You just have a natural talent for saying it like it is and putting bling and gloss on to cover the cracks!!
I love it and you make my heart sing. How’s this week been for you so far? Better I hope than week three when you fell down a bear pit and had such a sore arm. Thankfully Maria (?) used my left arm last Friday which was SO much better, and I had virtually no pain afterwards. However I may have thought I had more energy than I did and yesterday was back in Stoke Mandeville for a few hours. I woke up with a temp and sore throat, called Mara who immediately said ‘you have to go to hospital NOW!’ They had me strung up with an
antibollock drip in no time, bloods done etc. Anyway nothing too
dramatic, bloods came back ok and I came home after 4 hours. Threw up, then slept until 7am this morning. Now feeling like a wrung out piece of seaweed, with a mouth that tastes like the bottom of a rats sack! Then I read your blog and a smile spread across my face – and I think it’s not just me, there’s a very strong band of us all pulling together and we will despite the challenges make the final hurdle.
Where does the energy go? My normal head says ‘you can do it’ then The Chemo one ‘NO she can’t’ and the rest of me falls apart somewhere in the middle. So frustrating when there’s life to live and and I don’t have time to waste it. I have the most amazing circle of friends who care for me without question. Fetch, carry, cook, taxi etc, but I find it so
frustrating having to ask for help. Since Guy died I’ve learnt to be so
fiercely independent, and feel so pathetic asking someone for a loaf of
bread when I can walk to the shop.
My taste buds are still shot and everything tastes slimy and uninviting.
Chilli jam’s my friend – on everything bar porridge! Looking forward to
next week when hopefully I can taste some red red wine and have a little dance round the kitchen singing again!! Keep telling myself it’s good for me too!
Anyway I’m going to go and temp my body to eat something, and hope I’ve emailed the right person and some strange lady isn’t reading this!!

So it’s 7 am here and I’m going to leave you there as we have a family day planned with just chill time for most of the day but I’m hoping to be able to walk enough to go out tonight for a meal :-) I’ll let you all know tomorrow how that went. Enjoy your family time and daisy picking.

Sorry I nearly forgot the prayer list for Rita, whoops. Can you please include Frankie & Karen and all Grandparents out there but can I be selfish and ask for peace and comfort for my loved ones as they have had a really tough week and need some support, thanks MT Rita – much love xx

Screen Shot 2015-08-15 at 12.30.58I was going to finish today’s post there but ‘OMG’ I’m so excited as I tweeted or whatever it is to Charley Boorman as Steve, Richard and I rode with him in 2008 when he made the programme ‘By Any Means.’ Hoping as a fellow biker he would see it, oh my days he has retweeted the video and favourited the tweet too. ‘Oh my days’ he has 89,000 followers who are now going to see our video! I have also sent a tweet to Ewan McGregor, his mate. We are going viral :-0  Massive thanks to Charley and all you tweeters too.

 

Published by

Wend

Married to Steve, I have two children - Rebecca and Richard. Steve has two children, Lauren and Chris. Rebecca lives with us (nurse Rebecca) and my mom Judy also has become nurse and housekeeper but lives in the West Midlands. My son is in the Army and comes home when he can. I am 47, born in 1967 and I was told I had bowel cancer on 22nd Feb 2015 and this blog is my journey through it. I hope it helps you as you were the reason I started it.

16 thoughts on “Tweet or Twat – which am I?”

  1. Oh fer feck sake Trendy, do you mean to say I now need to learn this Twitter malarkey lol, I told you me & Technology just ain’t at the races lol ah well I’m in there somewhere as your BFF Miss Leanne got me on Twitter once apon a time !!!!!!!!!
    I could work out how to navigate it and deleted the app ha ha ha
    But I love your antics on it lol :-)

    Anyways me little cupcake every time you tell me about your poor bum I think of the opening credits to bonanza lol Was this a programme you may remember lol or maybe your a tad too young lol x

    I wish I could take away all the sadness and tears and heartache from you and your beautiful family, I know I can’t but I can light candles & pray x your prayer requests are duly noted. I will be on it tomorrow evening at 6 pm mass after work xxx

    Give Karen & Frankie my love, you lovely gals are a credit to yourselves and your families xxxx God Bless you all xxxx

    Well I best bugger off and try to resurrect my Twitter app lol
    Big Loves & Hugs Always xxxxxx

    1. Hi Rita, my angel. Twitter is hard to learn but I’m getting there as it’s a gateway to the stars lol I remember Bonanza of course as there was a real shortage of tv programmes back in the day lol. It was on on a Saturday I think. Thanks for the prayers tomorrow and candles. I had a donation from your sister too, god love her :-)
      Speak soon hey my angel xxx

      1. Lovely
        Which one lol there’s 4 of them lol
        Marzipan = Marion Mc Manus
        Frankie Freckles = Frances Mc Cudden
        Peter Pan = Maureen Knox- Buckley
        The Boss = Noelette Rooke ( she’s the eldest of our motley crew ) lol
        Chill time now little lady
        Love always xxxxxx

        1. Hi Rita, It was Peter Pan, bless her,loving the others nicknames. It’s 3 am and I’ve just woke up OMG Pizza Express experience wiped me out, fun though xx

  2. Hello you I’m so pleased you’ve found Twitter it’s much faster at spreading the word and going viral like you wanna do lol and I’ve followed you ha it’s my favourite picture of Simon cowell holding Leia and I will ask his mate sinitta to share your video lol she’s always good for tweeting saw the lovely photos of you out for dinner with the family love it that you are picking Daisy’s too xx juddy hugs xx

    1. OMG Teresa thank you as that would be amazing if any famous people would share it as it’s all about awareness and raising money, let me know if you get any joy and thanks for your support as ever. Feeling the Juddy love xx

  3. Hugs and a big “Good Job” on setting up the Twitter account! Your video is gonna go viral in no time. Don’t feel bad about not knowing much about Twitter, lots of us have no clue (including me) when it comes to it. :) xx

    1. Hi Bev, Hows things in the big USA? We are going viral mate! Did you like the video, hope you weren’t too shocked lol and now you can put faces to names you read too :-) can you all help out there by sharing it too? And I’m trying with Twitter but I’m still a bit lost, think it’s my age lol xx

      1. Things are good here, thanks for asking. :) I’ll continue to share your blog & video on Facebook. I don’t have a Twitter account as of date (illiterate about the whole tweet thing). Loved the video and laughed all the way through. Your message comes across in a brilliant way!! Hugs~

  4. Catching up on the last few days blogs….your Twitter ‘ ramblings’ ( your word not mine) did make me laugh! Wendy you are mad, bad and bloody amazing! xx

    1. OH MY DAYS Ruth you should be here now the kids are try to teach me about hashtags ‘It’s emotional’ lol lol lol xx

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>