As you all started your working week, daily commutes following whatever you did over your weekend I woke at 6.30. Now that’s good for me. Last night Nicky and I stayed up having girly chats and vodka until 2 am. Which makes it sound like maybe we had had to much to drink but that wasn’t the case, we just chatted as old friends but of course cancer dominated the conversation. Nicky like I struggles to believe that I may not be around this time next year or even reach 49 years of age.
I remember an early post when I talked about my first goal being to outlive my dad who died at 57. Now I think that was a young age to die and here I am in the same boat but with a worse outboard motor and no spare to replace it with.
Following Steve’s breakdown yesterday he feels that he has let me down and that’s just not true. I can’t believe that he has lasted this long. Richard helped Steve yesterday and they both get the anger part of the emotion but there is no one to be angry with.
Last night we went into Western Super Mare as I thought although it’s raining we could walk on the pier. As we drove along the sea front we saw the exhibition of Banksy Dismaland. Rebecca Steve and Beth want to see this but the tickets are sold out. The pier was closed and apart from the queue for Dismaland it was deserted. I completely understand why the British seaside has fallen into decline. We have a beautiful coastline and some fantastic beaches but the bloody weather just makes the whole experience miserable. I don’t mind a little rain but when it never stops and there is no hope of it stopping it’s just so depressing. When abroad I can stay on the beach all day with Steve and a good book. I would have even been happy with dry but cloudy weather as I would have still been happy sat on a beach as long as Molly and everyone else was okay but endless rain is not nice. So after only 20 minutes in Weston we head back home and enjoy a game of Cluedo which mom won. We were then going to play the music quiz game but we have only brought the empty box and the CD is still at home, typical hey? We then played the ‘Yes/No’ game we brought from home and had a laugh at that, I lost as normal.
Everyone awake Steve has to work, I worry as there is no internet here to speak of at all. Like when my mom went to ‘buffer island’ we are in ‘buffer dip’ where you can actually see the 4G signal tower thingy but you just can’t connect to it. We have decided to make the best of the day and visit Cheddar Gorge. We leave Steve to his ‘buffer face’ and as soon as you pull off the site you get full 4G, which is so exciting.
At the caves the plan is I stay with Molly so I’m not walking too much whilst everyone else goes around the caves. Molly and I head for Costa’s but I can’t go inside to order and there is no one outside to ask to help me. I give up and walk to the cave exit to wait for them. Nowhere for Molly to run and the rain just keeps coming. Caves done and we go for that coffee in the rain.
Last night your comments were lovely that you left on the blog. The pressure of having a great time is just too much, just like Christmas we all have hopes and dreams of perfection but life just isn’t like that and perfect is like any Disney film, just fantasy.
My stomach has been better since we had home cooked food yesterday and I haven’t shit myself today so that’s good hey?
I have had a message from Jani from the charity ‘Beating Bowel Cancer’ who has just caught up with my blog. I thank her for her message and does she have any other advice following Friday’s meeting as I’m not beating bowel cancer, excuse the pun. She has sent through a long reply which wouldn’t load earlier and I had ‘buffer face’ again but I will read it and reply to her.
Bathed, cottage pie for tea (thanks mom and Nicky) the sun is shinning and we are off to the pier and Dismaland to pick some more daisies.
Thank you to the two people who donated yesterday on my just giving page. It always make me happy to get a email to say someone has donated. One of the donations is from someone in the BHS family and I am so touched again by the support from the wider BHS family.
Happy Birthday to Chris and Ian plus I keep forgetting to thank Josh (Rebecca’s boyfriend) who is house and Tia sitting (the rescued cat that has never been grateful)